Aw, you guys.
Thanks for the support, both here and by email. It means a lot to know I'm not talking to myself - more than I already do on a daily basis anyway.
The problem with trying to find my happiness is... Uh, where do I start looking? Behind the couch? Nope, just some baby toys and dog hair. Does happiness go the way of lost socks? Do I need a map to find it?
(And don't you love how I keep saying "Lost my happy" instead of just coming out and saying "I'm depressed"? It's like being an addict. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem but if you don't admit to a problem then THERE IS NO PROBLEM. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Today.)
Someone recommended B6. I've read recently a bit about B6 and I think I'll try that and see how it goes. I just need to confirm as a breastfeeding mother that these supplements are safe to take.
Also, Seasonal Affective Disorder (or, SAD. Isn't that adorable?) kicks my ass every year. I should get one of those special lights, like someone else recommended. Maybe two lights. Maybe twenty.
My husband and I started working out last night. Getting healthier helps beat back depression. But do you know what beats back exercise? Pie. On a positive note, the pie is now gone so we don't have that excuse to not work out. Can we have a moment of silence for the pie, though? It was damn good pie.
I'm up for other suggestions to try. Suggest anything that doesn't require a prescription and is still healthy for me and my family and I'll try it. If there's a book to read, I'll read it. If there's a particular work out, I'll do it. It will hurt, but I'll do it. I'll curse the whole time, but I'll do it. I've got to do something, no matter how painful it is (and take the word "painful" with a grain of salt because I'm a wussbag), because it has to be better than the alternative.
Tomorrow I'm going to wake up bright and early, because I have to not because I want to, and find something that makes me happy no matter how simple that might be. Baby steps. No matter how unhappy or even content a person is, you should always find something, one thing, that makes you smile.
Tomorrow I will find something out of the ordinary that makes me smile. That's all I can do.